Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Alcohol Of Fame 2014 Inductees

Well were only supposed to have 3 but there was a tie so what the hell.  We are proud to give to present the Alcohol Of Fame Class of 2014.


With an almost unanimous vote the state of Wisconsin.
No municipal embraces getting hammered like the great state of Wisconsin.  Letting children drink in bars as long as they are with a parent who is also drinking.  Boasting the worlds largest 6 pack.  Being the last state to change it's drinking age to 21 only to be the only state to change it back to 19.  You embody everything we are attempting to honor. 
  




And we have this guy! 


Even though he's clearly an amateur when it comes to boozin' he just does with so much flair it was difficult to keep him out.  So for the greateest bannister slide in the history of man kind we are proud to induct this guy.











Ozzy Ozbourne. 

Is there a more prolific nominee?  Ozzy's liver should probably get all the credit considering it does all the work.  Ozzy Ozbourne ladies and gentlemen. 





















Mel Gibson

While his hate speech isn't cool the way he embraced being hammered is.  His fall was just enough to force himself into the Hall and become just the 4th ever nominee to the Alcohol of fame.

















Congrats to all nominees not just for being inducted but for making history as the inaugural class of the Alcohol of Fame.  The awards ceremony can be held at your leisure. 


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Snark At The Moon Man Of The Year

Snark At The Moon’s Man Of The Year.  What does it mean?
 
To be named SATMMOTY is an honor of the highest regard.  It means you were brave enough to carve your path in spite of common sense or basic decency.  It means you stood in the way of naysayers and basic logic and said “I don’t care about you or anyone else!”  The SATMMOTY has put his own shit under his nose and declared it odor free.  In this our first year of existence the inaugural choice was so obvious it may as well have attacked us in an airport.  So obvious we felt no need to tease or string it out.  If you follow SATM then you no doubt probably realized the same.
 
The 2013 SATMMOTY has spent the last decade in the limelight doing things his way and making almost no sense at the same time.  He has started feuds with friends over misunderstanding so simple it’s hard to figure out how it became a misunderstanding.  And if you’ve been following our weeklong tribute to him, you know he mistook an enthusiastic fan for a heckler.  He gave his child a pun for a name.  He refuses to cave under scrutiny that his fiancĂ©e’ is a used up whore that most of his friends have fucked.  He compared himself to Steve Jobs, Nelson Mandela and Tupac all while calling himself a genius.  His concerts are one long Christ complex.  A proud non reader of books he released one of the dumbest books ever, e-hem, written.  He compares his encounters with the paparazzi with Rosas Parks refusing to sit in the back of the bus.    
 
While his official occupation is that of a rapper, most people who know him cannot name a song.  Very Bieberesque.  He refuses to change in spite of reason and seemingly can’t be reached.  Perhaps most impressive is this year’s SATMMOTY has done all of this sober. 
 
The great minds at Snark At The Moon are proud to present our first and 2013’s SNARK AT THE MOON MAN OF THE YEAR…  Kanye West!  
 
Congrats Kanye.  You are a horrible, self absorbed delusional dipshit.  Soooo very worthy of this honor.  Ima let you finish!