Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Why Beyonce' Should've Said Thanks Butt No Thanks!

With football back I am reminded of the crown Jewel of the 2012 NFL season.  The Beyoncé' Super Bowl Halftime Show.  And her attempt to slip one past the American people at President Obama's  second inauguration just days before. 


Oh Beyonce'.  So composed.  So strong.  And such a nice person.  She gets it don't she? 

WAIT!  That's not what she is.
Maybe.  Just maybe Beyonce’ isn’t this rare example of elegance and humility we thought she was.  maybe she’s just as self absorbed as your garden variety pop star/celeb who’s in incapable of interpreting LEGITMATE criticism as anything but haters hating.  Anyone with functioning ears already knew her music was the same beat laden diahrrea that has defined hip hop/R&B since 2000 but Beyonce’ has been very meticulous in crafting an image that is that of a “decent person”.  Someone who truly feels blessed and appreciates every moment by recognizing how much better she has it than most.  Then someone astutely noticed she lip synced the national anthem at President Obama’s second inauguration.  Forced to choose between truth and lie she came clean and then proceeded to show what I assume are her true colors.
The first signs that the façade was starting crack came when she defended the decision by saying it was too important to risk making a mistake.  Fair point I guess.  I mean if she’s not up to the gig she’s not up to the gig. 
WAIT!  That’s not what she meant. 
Next she claimed her rehearsals for the Super Bowl didn’t leave her enough time to rehearse for the inauguration.  Meaning she had plenty of time to rehearse and record it in a studio but not enough time to practice it while actually holding a microphone?  Never mind that she just admitted she put greater importance on the Super Bowl than the honor of singing for the president. 
WAIT!  That’s not what she meant.
Then came the weather.  It was too cold and she was concerned that she might damage her voice.  Sure it’s an honor to sing for the President but not at the cost of her career right?  Kelly Clarkson seemed to be able to do it.  So a winner of a singing contest is more capable than the multi talented Beyonce’?  A white women is more honored to sing for a black president than a black woman? 
WAIT!  Thant’s not what she meant. 
Ole Sasha Fierce had enough by this point.  In a desperate attempt to shut us all up she opened up her Super Bowl press conference by doing an a'capella rendition of the national anthem followed by her smugly asking “Any questions?”  Puhhh lease!  All you did was prove you can sing unremarkably while holding a mic and memorize the words to a song we’ve all heard 9000 times since birth.  Any questions.  Yeah I got one.  You claim to be a singer, why don’t you actually sing when you perform?
The world has enough Beyonce’ Bobo’s that she’ll never have to have an honest opinion of herself.  But the fact is she’s been shimmying her magnificent ass to a prerecorded track of her singing since well before her first million seller.  She was forced to add some actual singing to her halftime show just to shut everyone up.  While she was largely successful in doing that, anyone who watched her “performance” saw that all she really did was not pretend to sing along to a track of herself.  She would hold her arms in the air and not move her lips one bit.  You still heard her sing.  Yep she showed us.  No lip syncing here.  No actually singing either but no lip syncing. 
She’s not the first person to lip sync the National Anthem.  Whitney did it at the 1991 Super Bowl.  Face full of emotion and mouth full of silence.  But this is the Presidential Inauguration.  You get asked to sing you sing.  And not a day earlier in a studio with a producer.  She only made herself look worse by coming up with a bunch of excuses that indirectly said:
She thinks the Super Bowl is more important that the Presidential Inauguration.
She has time to record the anthem and then lip sync but not time to actually prepare to sing it live.
Kelly Clarkson is better than her.     
The gig was too big for her. 
2 ½ months is not enough time for her to prepare to sing a song we've all sung at least 100 times. 
She thinks singing the National Anthem to a bunch of reporters after Lip Syncing it for the President cleans the slate.  In other words she’s stupid. 
Look.  There’s a reason not everyone gets this kind of opportunity.  can we just admit she’s not qualified for a gig of this scale.  And just because there are other celebrities who are unaware that the world doesn’t literally revolve around them doesn’t mean it’s ok to find out she’s just as self involved.  If anything, the fact that someone like J-Lo has never bothered denying she’s a bit of a diva is more honest than the way Beyonce’ tried to convince us she was a good person.  Lip Sync in concert?  If the people willing to pay your ticket prices don’t mind, neither will anyone else.  On MTV?  It’s just MTV.  But lip sync for the Pres?  Sorry.  That’s a no no.  And a fairly obvious one.  She’s either stupid, disrespectful or just not good enough.  Or a combination of the three but the criticism was fair.  No one was calling her fat or attacking her family.  They just wondered why someone of her supposed talent would lip sync at such an event.  Some accept her bullshit excuses.  Some think she should’ve just apologized.  Some think it doesn’t matter.  And that is why I think she should’ve politely declined.
There are some unique talents in this country.  She ain’t one of them.  I don’t know who’s idea it was to ask Beyonce’ to do this but this is what happens when we accept the package as proof of talent.  Beyonce’ isn’t a song writer, musician or singer.  She is a face on the screen.  And when the world we live in lacks the humility and empathy to understand that singing for the President is an honor that few deserve and even fewer earn, it points out why it matters.  Beyonce’s success is just another sign that we continue give more for less.

1 comment:

  1. Dude, you and your band should have gotten the gig. I totally would have dug the Band Jesus Chrysler kicking ass at the inauguration performing the National Anthem, then a cool segue into Goddamn Handsome Man. Bet you would have gotten a thumbs up from the Pres. too.