Bye Bye Love: Why A Racist Owner Isn't The NBA's Biggest Problem

The NBA has a problem and it’s not an 80 year old white guy who pines for the days of separate drinking fountains.  Adam Silver is riding high on all the metaphorical high 5’s and slaps on the backs he’s been receiving for taking a hardline with Donald Silver.  Which is kind of sad.  There is nothing heroic or brave about opposing racism.  It takes the same effort as taking your shopping cart to the cart corral in the parking lot of Home Depot.  It’s just the right thing to do.  And getting too congratulatory only opens us to a conversation we don’t want to have.  Your gonna take his team for being a bad person?  LeBron James says there is no room in the NBA for Donald Sterling.  He may be right but does that apply San Francisco 49er Chris Culliver who has made homophobic comments in the past and recently called a family of Mexicans “wetbacks”.  Should he be allowed to play professional football?  Or will he get the opportunity to apologize and take sensitivity training?  And anytime a professional athlete shoots up a strip club or runs a dog fighting ring, at least part of the discussion is the culture they were raised in as if it were some sort of excuse.  I have yet to hear one talking head on ESPN talk about Donald Sterling being raised in a different time. 

 

If anything Adam Silver should be pissed David Stern left him with this.  Donald Sterling’s racist views are well documented.  No one should be surprised.  The reason this is not even a really problem for the league or it’s players is stuff like this takes care of itself.  Players won’t want to play there.  Coaches won’t want to coach there.  And good ones won’t have to.

 

Kevin Love, or more accurately his agent, recently let the Minnesota Timberwolves know that he will be opting out of his contract and taking his talents elsewhere (Thanks LeBron.)  And this my friends, is the NBA’s biggest problem.  Not Kevin Love specifically.  The fact that this happens all the time in cities throughout the league.  ESPN and talk radio have hours to fill so they fill a lot of that with their own speculation.  That speculation becomes it's own self fulfilling philosophy.  Once Kevin Love signed the contract that allowed him to opt out after three years the speculation started.  Will the Wolves trade him to Lakers for a sack of magic beans today, or will they let him walk for nothing?  He’s from California so you know he wants to play there.  You have to trade him now to get anything of value for him.  Has there ever been a trade in the NBA that has been close to even?  And this isn’t unique to franchises that are bad or poorly run.  In 2012-13 season the discussion of where LeBron James would be playing when 2014-15 season began.  Does he not like Miami?  Is he tired of winning championships?

 

Only teams in LA, New York, Boston and to a lesser extent Chicago are immune to this.  That’s 6 teams.  And it isn’t just about making sure the best players only play in the big markets.  If a team in a smaller market has the audacity to make the NBA finals the immediate talking point is “Is the NBA worried that no one will watch an Indiana/OKC final?”  Isn’t the point of professional sports to win?  Even if you live in Memphis?  This year you have Miami, Indiana, San Antonio and Oklahoma City as your final four teams.  So what do the Sports Reporters on ESPN have to talk about?  Whether or not the NBA is unhappy that these 4 pathetic cities managed to make it this far.

 

The NBA should care about the perception that they don’t want most of the teams in the league to win.  As long as the NBA treats the 24 teams not in NYC like they’re the Washington Generals they shouldn’t expect communities to support these teams.  They should start giving back tax money giving to these teams in the form of Arena’s and practice facilities.  And as long as players of Kevin Love’s ilk spend the first 6 years of their careers bombarded with the idea that they are just honing their game for another team in a bigger city nothing will change.  Players of Love’s talent are the type you build a team around.  And they are hard to get.  For the first time since trading Kevin Garnett the Timberwolves have a sliver of credibility.  And now they are forced to trade it away.  Despite two overall #1 picks and another on the way the Cleveland Cavaliers still haven’t recovered from LeBron James leaving.  Every NFL season starts with hope.  Even the most pessimistic fan hangs on his team every week.  Fans of teams that are consistently bad blame ownership and management.  Fans of the Milwaukee Bucks feel they will never have a chance.  And that is the biggest problem the NBA has.  The void of any real hope.  Viking fans feel jinxed because of superstition combined with reality.  T-Wolves fans have no reason to feel optimistic because their team is in a league that only wants large market teams to compete. 

 

Donald Sterling doesn’t want black people coming to his games.  Someone needs to tell Adam Silver that doesn’t make Magic Johnson the perfect candidate for ownership.  Give people like Donald Sterling enough rope and they’ll hang themselves.  Feeling obligated to deify such thoughts shows a lack of sincerity.  So kick him out of the league or let him suffer the consequences of putting words to his thoughts.  But stop acting like it’s the cancer eating at the core of your league.  Prejudice and bigotry can be found in every locker room and front office in the league.  Making Donald Sterling the face of racism just distracts you from the real issue.  Fan apathy.           

Is It Time For AC/DC To Flick The Switch to Off?

When my roommate and I were drinking our way through Community College in the early 90’s, our tenement in downtown Rochester became a hotbed for after hours alcoholism.  One particular Friday what was originally just a couple friends meeting up at our house turned into a full blown hold your hair back while you puke party.  Awaking the next morning (afternoon) said party had already attained legendary status.  Passed out bodies and empty beer cans throughout our apartment reminded one of an aftermath scene from a tornado.   The mysterious Schmidt Big Mouth on the floor in my car.  (Where the hell did I DRIVE last night?)  And phone calls from those who made it home.  Just calling to say “Duuuuuude!” in that lazy slobber tone that comes with a hangover.

While time would eventually give us the proper perspective of how improbable such a night was, my roomie and I immediately started planning to do it again.  That night.  But it wasn’t the same.  Almost no one was un hungover enough from the night before to even attend.  Those of us who did give er a go had none of vigor and energy.  As awesome as it the previous night was it couldn’t be replicated.  We were young fools to think it was even attainable. 

Recently it was announced the AC/DC guitarist Malcom Young had suffered a pretty major medical setback and would not be able to perform his duties in the band.  Speculation as to what AC/DC would and should do flooded the internet shortly after with band officially announcing they would continue with a new record and tour sans Angus’ brother.  My initial reaction was largely indifferent.  But as I thought more it reminded of the mess KISS has become and I began to question.  When we like something.  Why do we feel entitled to more? 

I reached this same crossroad with KISS.  They were my band.  For me a big part of it was not wanting to let go of something that had been a huge part of most of my life.  But as I grew older it was harder to convince myself it was something worth holding onto.  What was once something that kept me afloat was slowly starting to feel like it was now pulling me under.  The reality is AC/DC, like many bands, have already given us the best they got.  Instead of comparing it to 1980 why not compare it to current formations of bands like Judas Priest.  Down to 3 original members.  Are you really that excited to hear new music from them?  How about Queensryche.  Firing their singer of 30 years.  Also down to 3 members?  Ratt?  While Judas Priest is one of the greatest metal bands of all time and Ratt and Queensryche maybe some of the best from the 80’s, AC/DC is one of the greatest BANDS of all time.  If you’re a fan of Judas Priest, Ratt, Queensryche, KISS, Springsteen, U2 and almost anyone, there’s a good chance you also like AC/DC.  I tried to hate them for a while but it’s just too hard.  They are too fucking awesome. The point being if Ratt and Queensryche want to make a mockery of their legacy who fucking cares.  It’s not like they’re AC/DC.  And like KISS.  Haven’t AC/DC given us enough?  

They’ve taken us down the Highway to Hell.  They let us know it’s ok to fuck fat chicks named Rosie.  They’ve flicked the switch and given us a 21 gun salute.  They play 2 ½ hours knowing that everyone is going to leave not hearing every song they wanted to.  They have played everywhere multiple times year after year.  If you haven’t found time to see them yet, buy a DVD.  And while people taking their kids to see the band they grew up with may seem harmless, is that really the role of a parent.  Think of the first time you got into AC/DC.  Sitting in a buddy’s older brothers bedroom smoking pot while he puts on Let There Be Rock.  Now imagine your dad in the room with you playing air guitar.  Did that make it better?  (If you’re saying yes then fuck you.)  Discovery was one of the coolest parts of rock n roll and parents who make things cooler are failing as parents.  AC/DC made it ok for the pretty girls at school to hang out at the same farm kegger as you.  Because of AC/DC I am always about to rock.  And I salute them.  I can honestly say that my life is better because of AC/DC.  They don’t owe me anything more.     

 

So in my expert opinion I don’t think they should go on.  Malcolm means too much to their sound and their song writing.  It’s not the same as when Bon died over 30 years ago.  The band was still very young.  Still relevant.  Still current.  They aren’t and haven’t been for well over a decade.  It’s just different.  They may still be one of the 5 best live bands on the planet.  But even if they were to write their greatest album it wouldn’t matter.  When you’ve been as big as them for as long as them people put you in a time capsule.  And that’s not a bad thing.  Also they don’t have to.  They have played enough shows.  Recorded enough music and made enough money.  Why tarnish it?  Why drag it out?  For the fans?

But the decision isn’t mine anymore than the million’s chiming in around the world.  The bottom line is if they want to they are going to.  As a musician I understand the desire to carry on against common sense.  So while I may disagree with it, who am I to be against it.  But to those of you who feel you need it.  Those of you who want it.  I ask why?  Because the party will never be as good as last night.  

If You Want To Book Live Music, Then Make It Matter

Having been in a band for over 15 years I have plenty of experience when it comes playing live shows in bars and clubs.  I have played to packed rooms, empty rooms and in between with nothing but what seemed to be fate to determine which it would be.  My own frustration’s with the way the scene was handled by those who book bands were brought back to the surface recently when a friend of mine in a local band shared with me the following. 

His band was playing a club in St. Paul and was told the starting times for each band would be determined by which band pre-sold the most tickets.  Meaning that if you have 4 bands, the band who sold the most tickets gets to pick it’s time slot first.  Then the band that sold the second most picks and so on.  This may seem fair on the surface but in reality it’s a flawed business model that benefits neither the bands nor the clubs interests.  Where are the bands supposed to sell these tickets?  Who are they supposed to sell them to?  Treating these events like a Cub Scout expo where the more tickets they sell the more rewards you get is demeaning and doesn’t get more people into the club.  It reminded me of my own experiences and thing I would like to see changed.  So in a “for what it’s worth” effort here is what I think would foster a better music scene while making it more profitable for the clubs and the bands. 

1)  Establish a weeknight where you showcase local music.  Sunday – Wednesday are typically nights where attendance is iffy on a good night.  For the record I think only showcasing local live music Thurs-Sat makes the most sense If you insist on 7 days a week make it worth it both the bands and the venues time.  The current model depends on the members of the bands to hang around buying drinks when they aren’t playing.  Considering the club probably isn’t paying them much more than one free drink to play that night, it may seem like a good safety net on the surface.  But it’s really just done because that’s what’s been done and it’s easier than making your club a destination for people who enjoy live music.  Make the music as important as the atmosphere, flow, drink specials etc. and people will come because they know THIS bar really looks for good bands.

2)  Have some sort of drink specials and have a representative of the establishment announce them on stage between every band.  Make it known that every week you will have similar specials and push it.  If people know you offer the best of up and coming local music as well as drink specials they will come back.  Again knowing THIS bar has something to offer.  Too often drink specials are treated like a secret they hope you don’t find out about.  You should have specials you want people to take part of.   

3)  Have a clear criteria for any band who wants to play that night.  Whether it be someone from the club goes out to see them or as simple as a waiting list where the band just waits their turn as if waiting for a table at a restaurant.  The current model is basically getting to know someone who knows someone who knows the sound guy.  That’s just lazy.  This shows the club doesn’t care to hold whoever books the bands to be accountable.  It does nothing for quality control.  In this scenario you are guaranteeing that bad bands will get opportunities and good ones won’t.  Because having a connection and having talent do not go hand in hand.    

4)  No cover.  The whole ticket pre-sale is built around the idea that bands have plenty of friends who want to go see their friends bands on weeknights.  That’s just not realistic.  Friends, while supportive, rarely want to go to see their buddies band every time he plays a local club on anymore than they want to see their buddy bartend every night he works.  Do you hire a waiter or waitress with the idea that his or her friends will be a significant part of your sales?  Of course not.  Friends of the bands shouldn’t be who you are trying to get in your club.  They won’t stay for all the bands meaning they won’t be buying drinks all night.  You want to make your club a destination for people who want to see new local music.  And they’re out there.  Make the night more about them and less about the bands actually benefits both the club and the bands.  Once again who are trying to make your money off of?  The members of the bands who you are paying nothing to perform?  Or people who enjoy your club because of what you offer?  And bands, who would rather have in the audience?  People who have never seen you before?  Or a combination of the handful of friends you successfully baited into coming out that night and members of the other bands who are playing with you that night? 

5)  Quality control.  Bands will have bad nights.  And some bands are just bad.  Stop the practice of hiring one band and having them fill the night.  Why booking agents for clubs are allowed to get away with this is beyond me.  The people booking the bands should know who they are booking.  It should be a job requirement.  Just because one band is good doesn’t make their buddies band any good.  You squeeze out good bands because this is easier.  I assume someone is paying you with the idea you in turn will generate money for them.  Bar owners:  Do you know what your booking agent is doing?  And once you have bands you know perform well, have them back.  Put them with other bands that are good.  You will increase your venues reputation and grow the audiences.  Book hard rock bands with other hard rock bands and alt rock bands with alt rock bands etc.  My band is a hard rock band bordering on metal.  We were once booked on a bill with a country alt band, a black metal act and a comedian.  None of us looked good that night.

6)  Generally speaking, the bands playing these nights are not getting paid anything worth their effort.  The least you can do is treat them with respect.  Drop the holier than thou routine when a new band wants to know what they need to do to get a slot on one of these nights.  Just tell them.  There is no downside to treating people with respect.  Here’s an exercise to try.  Pick a bar at random and see how easy it is to find out who books the bar.  Then see how easy it is to contact them.  Do they get back to you?  I know bands trying to get a gig can be pesky.  Guess what?  That’s part of the job.  Understand this.  If people need to kiss your ass to get you to give them a couple of minutes, they know it.  Start running a karaoke night at Chi Chi’s if you are desperate for that kind of acknowledgement.  

7)  Don’t call it “New Band Night”.  All that says is “Don’t come because the bands suck”.  If you know who you are booking you should know what to expect.  Again make it about the night and the venue.  Call it Live Music Happy Hour or something that gives people a reason to come.  If you are going to feature the best of un-established bands, making it about the band is going to fail.  Remember, just like established bands, un-established bands don’t have enough friends to make it worth opening the doors.

The bottom line is this.  The current system makes for a bad scene and from what I’ve experienced can’t be making the clubs any real money.  Cover charge’s should be for bands that are guaranteed a payday.  If you are not paying a band enough to cover gas and their time, then you have no excuse to charge people to see them.  Make your money off the drinks.  Bands, be honest.  Are you good enough?  If not don’t waste anyone’s time until you are.  You can only damage your reputation if you are unprepared or untalented.  It’s time for bands and the clubs to realize they are partners and spend more time working together.  And from my experience that means most clubs are going to have to do more.