By any measure Paul Stanley has been at the very least a
prolific song writer. By most measures
he has been a great songwriter. He often
gets pigeonholed as a one trick pony who writes rock n roll sex anthems and
while he has written plenty of them he’s also responsible for timeless rock
songs like Black Diamond, God Of Thunder, and Detroit Rock City. He may be the inventor of the power ballad
with the dreadful tune Hold Me, Touch Me from his 1978 solo album and Rap Metal
with the underappreciated All Hells Breaking Loose. While he’s had a couple of flat out bad songs
(My Way) he’s also responsible for what is quite possibly the greatest marriage
of lyric and melody with the song C’Mon and Love Me. Anyone who listens to the first verse and
doesn’t become erect is deaf. 
But for about 5 years starting somewhere around 1979 KISS
albums started to include a new style of Paul Stanley song. They weren’t ballads by any definition but
the sure as hell didn’t rock either. At
first appearance they seem like a regular hard rock song but it soon becomes
clear that these songs require one to stop and listen to properly absorb. They insist upon themselves. And they are no fun to listen to. They sound as if they were intentionally
recorded without energy or passion. 
Filler songs have existed since the album era pushed out the
single’s era. I don’t think these songs
are filler. I’ve always gotten the vibe
that Paul was quite proud of these songs as most of them have appeared in a
setlist for at least one tour. They all
tell a story. It’s almost as if Paul
awoke one day and wanted to be the Hard Rock Springsteen. I’ve dubbed these songs Snore Rock. So in chronological order, here are the 5
songs the Paul Stanley insists upon us.
Sure Know Something - This was originally released on Dynasty.
But kind of to my point I had no idea.
When I got KISS Killers in 1985 I assumed it was one of the new songs
recorded for that worthless release. And
I owned Dynasty. Sure I was only 9 when
I got it but I remembered every other song on that record. Even Dirty Livin made an impact. But not this song. It tells the story of man who may appear
naïve in the world of banging chicks.
But he’s not. He has been up and
down and all around and had his heart broken.
He then goes on to self medicate his broken heart with lots of sex. You may think that description describes a
song you’d like to hear. It
doesn’t.
Keep Me Coming – This comes from Creatures of The Night
which is otherwise a great record. Here
he tells the story of an young innocent girl trying to make it in a big
city. Paul decides to help break out of
her shell by having crazy sex with her.
The melody and music, like all of these songs, scream background music. They offer the same level of songwriting
acumen as the guy supplying the serious tones in an episode of Law &
Order.
Get All You Can Take – This testament to Snore Rock comes
courtesy the album Animalize. After
songs about sexing with chicks and partying this is probably Paul’s most
recurring topic when writing lyrics. The
us against them and we don’t need them mantra.
People are always looking at him wherever he goes as if they wonder what
the hell’s wrong with him. But he
doesn’t care about their rat race. After
all with all their rules it’s a race for fools that he can never win. It starts with a similar riff as Keep Me
Coming and equally boring.
Thrills In The Night – Also off of Animalize. They did the listener a favor by not putting
them together in the song sequence.
Having to hear them back to back would probably bring on early onset
Alzheimer’s. This song tells the story
of a woman who during the day, by all appearance seems like a regular girl
working a 9-5 job. But there’s a woman
that nobody see’s living inside. So at
night, surprise, she’s a fucking whore.
This song was played for most of the Animalize tour in what I assume was
to give people more time to buy a t shirt or take a piss.
Who Wants To Be Lonely – They actually made a video for this
piece of shit. They should’ve called
this Who Wants To Listen to this fucking song.
In his book Paul made mention that Gene was mailing it in at this
point. Just going through the motions
when it came time to write songs. Not
giving it his all like Paul was. And
this whole album suffers from the Bruce Kulick effect but if this is Paul
giving it his all, and Anyway You Slice It is Gene half assing it then Paul
should be looking to Gene for songwriting tips.
Honestly I’m trying to remember the lyrics to this but I keep ending up
with a mish mash of Keep Me Coming and Thrills In The Night. All I can muster up without listening to it
is the dreadful chorus with the whiny Woooah oooah oh oh. Just thinking about this song has me making
an appointment with a therapist.
So there you go. 5
songs that Rock and Roll Hall of famer Paul Stanley insists upon us. And Paul, you’ve shown a willingness to admit
to some misfires. Anytime you talk about
the Elder you seem to wince. You may not
initially agree but search your feelings.
You know I be right. But I
forgive you Starchild. You have written
some of my favorite and in my humble opinion some of the greatest rock songs of
all time. But these songs are torture
and need to be placed in a vault labeled songs that should never be heard
again. Someday you will understand. Someday you will thank me.
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