Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Janay Rice Shouldn't Stand By Her Man

*I would like to say I often use this forum to express myself in satirical or sarcastic way.  Snarky.  Among the topics I would never make light of is spousal abuse of any kind.  What follows is in no way sarcastic or meant as a joke
I was planning on staying away from this one.  A) It’s getting plenty of coverage and B) standing out against domestic violence in situations like this tend to  be more about the person saying it and less about the actual issue.  I didn’t feel I had anything to offer that others weren’t already saying.  Then the victim spoke out.
In a letter to the Baltimore Sun, Janay Rice had the following to say in regards to the video getting out.
"I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend.  But to have to accept the fact that it's reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that [the] media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass [off] for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.
"THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you've succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!"

Some will dismiss her as stupid and someone who deserves to be with someone who will abuse her.  Some will speak in terms of concern that she is allowing herself to be part to blame.  There’s a little truth in both I guess.  I have a hard time relating as I’ve never had a problem not hitting people or belittling my spouse.  Suffice it to say I find violence of any kind unnecessary.  I’ll leave any further discussion as to how we handle domestic violence to more qualified people.
I do feel comfortable talking about the statement Janay made via the Baltimore Sun.  Two things stick out to me. 
How can she not see she is living the stereotype?  Maybe stereotype isn’t the right way to put it.  She is acting like a text book example of someone who has been abused.  Placing blame on herself.  Defending her attacker.  Blaming others for bringing attention to it.  Odds are there were people in power for the Baltimore Ravens and the NFL who knew about all of this back in February and did nothing aside from cover it up.  Maybe Janay is perfectly fine being a Ray Rice punching bag.  But if we allow people in power to cover up this kind of crap, that only serves to ensure it will continue to happen.  As much as I feel for her, it’s bigger than her.  And it’s kind of scary she feels the attention this is bringing on her home is worse than the left hook that left her laying on the floor.  It’s almost as if she’s telling people like my wife that only by the grace of God has she not been punched. 
Secondly, and this had nothing to do with the issue and more with what we feel is acceptable when discussing a serious issue.  From either side.  I can’t take someone serious when they end a statement like this with a reference to “RavensNation”.  Now I not only think she’s in denial but I also think she’s stupid.  Any point she was trying to make is now gone because she went to the “LOL” card.  You cannot approach this the same level of sincerity you would when posting on Instagram and be taken seriously.  Not only is she lying to herself, but she lacks the mental capacity to embrace the seriousness of the shit storm her husband put her in.  The only thing the media is guilty of in this case is false sincerity.  But I guess so is Janay Rice.  What don't you all get?  Your use of "us" and "we" for starters.      
I don’t own an NBA team so I have no concern saying someone who was raised by his mother should have a higher regard for women.  Funny how we've heard from her but not him.        

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