Is It Time For AC/DC To Flick The Switch to Off?

When my roommate and I were drinking our way through Community College in the early 90’s, our tenement in downtown Rochester became a hotbed for after hours alcoholism.  One particular Friday what was originally just a couple friends meeting up at our house turned into a full blown hold your hair back while you puke party.  Awaking the next morning (afternoon) said party had already attained legendary status.  Passed out bodies and empty beer cans throughout our apartment reminded one of an aftermath scene from a tornado.   The mysterious Schmidt Big Mouth on the floor in my car.  (Where the hell did I DRIVE last night?)  And phone calls from those who made it home.  Just calling to say “Duuuuuude!” in that lazy slobber tone that comes with a hangover.

While time would eventually give us the proper perspective of how improbable such a night was, my roomie and I immediately started planning to do it again.  That night.  But it wasn’t the same.  Almost no one was un hungover enough from the night before to even attend.  Those of us who did give er a go had none of vigor and energy.  As awesome as it the previous night was it couldn’t be replicated.  We were young fools to think it was even attainable. 

Recently it was announced the AC/DC guitarist Malcom Young had suffered a pretty major medical setback and would not be able to perform his duties in the band.  Speculation as to what AC/DC would and should do flooded the internet shortly after with band officially announcing they would continue with a new record and tour sans Angus’ brother.  My initial reaction was largely indifferent.  But as I thought more it reminded of the mess KISS has become and I began to question.  When we like something.  Why do we feel entitled to more? 

I reached this same crossroad with KISS.  They were my band.  For me a big part of it was not wanting to let go of something that had been a huge part of most of my life.  But as I grew older it was harder to convince myself it was something worth holding onto.  What was once something that kept me afloat was slowly starting to feel like it was now pulling me under.  The reality is AC/DC, like many bands, have already given us the best they got.  Instead of comparing it to 1980 why not compare it to current formations of bands like Judas Priest.  Down to 3 original members.  Are you really that excited to hear new music from them?  How about Queensryche.  Firing their singer of 30 years.  Also down to 3 members?  Ratt?  While Judas Priest is one of the greatest metal bands of all time and Ratt and Queensryche maybe some of the best from the 80’s, AC/DC is one of the greatest BANDS of all time.  If you’re a fan of Judas Priest, Ratt, Queensryche, KISS, Springsteen, U2 and almost anyone, there’s a good chance you also like AC/DC.  I tried to hate them for a while but it’s just too hard.  They are too fucking awesome. The point being if Ratt and Queensryche want to make a mockery of their legacy who fucking cares.  It’s not like they’re AC/DC.  And like KISS.  Haven’t AC/DC given us enough?  

They’ve taken us down the Highway to Hell.  They let us know it’s ok to fuck fat chicks named Rosie.  They’ve flicked the switch and given us a 21 gun salute.  They play 2 ½ hours knowing that everyone is going to leave not hearing every song they wanted to.  They have played everywhere multiple times year after year.  If you haven’t found time to see them yet, buy a DVD.  And while people taking their kids to see the band they grew up with may seem harmless, is that really the role of a parent.  Think of the first time you got into AC/DC.  Sitting in a buddy’s older brothers bedroom smoking pot while he puts on Let There Be Rock.  Now imagine your dad in the room with you playing air guitar.  Did that make it better?  (If you’re saying yes then fuck you.)  Discovery was one of the coolest parts of rock n roll and parents who make things cooler are failing as parents.  AC/DC made it ok for the pretty girls at school to hang out at the same farm kegger as you.  Because of AC/DC I am always about to rock.  And I salute them.  I can honestly say that my life is better because of AC/DC.  They don’t owe me anything more.     

 

So in my expert opinion I don’t think they should go on.  Malcolm means too much to their sound and their song writing.  It’s not the same as when Bon died over 30 years ago.  The band was still very young.  Still relevant.  Still current.  They aren’t and haven’t been for well over a decade.  It’s just different.  They may still be one of the 5 best live bands on the planet.  But even if they were to write their greatest album it wouldn’t matter.  When you’ve been as big as them for as long as them people put you in a time capsule.  And that’s not a bad thing.  Also they don’t have to.  They have played enough shows.  Recorded enough music and made enough money.  Why tarnish it?  Why drag it out?  For the fans?

But the decision isn’t mine anymore than the million’s chiming in around the world.  The bottom line is if they want to they are going to.  As a musician I understand the desire to carry on against common sense.  So while I may disagree with it, who am I to be against it.  But to those of you who feel you need it.  Those of you who want it.  I ask why?  Because the party will never be as good as last night.  

If You Want To Book Live Music, Then Make It Matter

Having been in a band for over 15 years I have plenty of experience when it comes playing live shows in bars and clubs.  I have played to packed rooms, empty rooms and in between with nothing but what seemed to be fate to determine which it would be.  My own frustration’s with the way the scene was handled by those who book bands were brought back to the surface recently when a friend of mine in a local band shared with me the following. 

His band was playing a club in St. Paul and was told the starting times for each band would be determined by which band pre-sold the most tickets.  Meaning that if you have 4 bands, the band who sold the most tickets gets to pick it’s time slot first.  Then the band that sold the second most picks and so on.  This may seem fair on the surface but in reality it’s a flawed business model that benefits neither the bands nor the clubs interests.  Where are the bands supposed to sell these tickets?  Who are they supposed to sell them to?  Treating these events like a Cub Scout expo where the more tickets they sell the more rewards you get is demeaning and doesn’t get more people into the club.  It reminded me of my own experiences and thing I would like to see changed.  So in a “for what it’s worth” effort here is what I think would foster a better music scene while making it more profitable for the clubs and the bands. 

1)  Establish a weeknight where you showcase local music.  Sunday – Wednesday are typically nights where attendance is iffy on a good night.  For the record I think only showcasing local live music Thurs-Sat makes the most sense If you insist on 7 days a week make it worth it both the bands and the venues time.  The current model depends on the members of the bands to hang around buying drinks when they aren’t playing.  Considering the club probably isn’t paying them much more than one free drink to play that night, it may seem like a good safety net on the surface.  But it’s really just done because that’s what’s been done and it’s easier than making your club a destination for people who enjoy live music.  Make the music as important as the atmosphere, flow, drink specials etc. and people will come because they know THIS bar really looks for good bands.

2)  Have some sort of drink specials and have a representative of the establishment announce them on stage between every band.  Make it known that every week you will have similar specials and push it.  If people know you offer the best of up and coming local music as well as drink specials they will come back.  Again knowing THIS bar has something to offer.  Too often drink specials are treated like a secret they hope you don’t find out about.  You should have specials you want people to take part of.   

3)  Have a clear criteria for any band who wants to play that night.  Whether it be someone from the club goes out to see them or as simple as a waiting list where the band just waits their turn as if waiting for a table at a restaurant.  The current model is basically getting to know someone who knows someone who knows the sound guy.  That’s just lazy.  This shows the club doesn’t care to hold whoever books the bands to be accountable.  It does nothing for quality control.  In this scenario you are guaranteeing that bad bands will get opportunities and good ones won’t.  Because having a connection and having talent do not go hand in hand.    

4)  No cover.  The whole ticket pre-sale is built around the idea that bands have plenty of friends who want to go see their friends bands on weeknights.  That’s just not realistic.  Friends, while supportive, rarely want to go to see their buddies band every time he plays a local club on anymore than they want to see their buddy bartend every night he works.  Do you hire a waiter or waitress with the idea that his or her friends will be a significant part of your sales?  Of course not.  Friends of the bands shouldn’t be who you are trying to get in your club.  They won’t stay for all the bands meaning they won’t be buying drinks all night.  You want to make your club a destination for people who want to see new local music.  And they’re out there.  Make the night more about them and less about the bands actually benefits both the club and the bands.  Once again who are trying to make your money off of?  The members of the bands who you are paying nothing to perform?  Or people who enjoy your club because of what you offer?  And bands, who would rather have in the audience?  People who have never seen you before?  Or a combination of the handful of friends you successfully baited into coming out that night and members of the other bands who are playing with you that night? 

5)  Quality control.  Bands will have bad nights.  And some bands are just bad.  Stop the practice of hiring one band and having them fill the night.  Why booking agents for clubs are allowed to get away with this is beyond me.  The people booking the bands should know who they are booking.  It should be a job requirement.  Just because one band is good doesn’t make their buddies band any good.  You squeeze out good bands because this is easier.  I assume someone is paying you with the idea you in turn will generate money for them.  Bar owners:  Do you know what your booking agent is doing?  And once you have bands you know perform well, have them back.  Put them with other bands that are good.  You will increase your venues reputation and grow the audiences.  Book hard rock bands with other hard rock bands and alt rock bands with alt rock bands etc.  My band is a hard rock band bordering on metal.  We were once booked on a bill with a country alt band, a black metal act and a comedian.  None of us looked good that night.

6)  Generally speaking, the bands playing these nights are not getting paid anything worth their effort.  The least you can do is treat them with respect.  Drop the holier than thou routine when a new band wants to know what they need to do to get a slot on one of these nights.  Just tell them.  There is no downside to treating people with respect.  Here’s an exercise to try.  Pick a bar at random and see how easy it is to find out who books the bar.  Then see how easy it is to contact them.  Do they get back to you?  I know bands trying to get a gig can be pesky.  Guess what?  That’s part of the job.  Understand this.  If people need to kiss your ass to get you to give them a couple of minutes, they know it.  Start running a karaoke night at Chi Chi’s if you are desperate for that kind of acknowledgement.  

7)  Don’t call it “New Band Night”.  All that says is “Don’t come because the bands suck”.  If you know who you are booking you should know what to expect.  Again make it about the night and the venue.  Call it Live Music Happy Hour or something that gives people a reason to come.  If you are going to feature the best of un-established bands, making it about the band is going to fail.  Remember, just like established bands, un-established bands don’t have enough friends to make it worth opening the doors.

The bottom line is this.  The current system makes for a bad scene and from what I’ve experienced can’t be making the clubs any real money.  Cover charge’s should be for bands that are guaranteed a payday.  If you are not paying a band enough to cover gas and their time, then you have no excuse to charge people to see them.  Make your money off the drinks.  Bands, be honest.  Are you good enough?  If not don’t waste anyone’s time until you are.  You can only damage your reputation if you are unprepared or untalented.  It’s time for bands and the clubs to realize they are partners and spend more time working together.  And from my experience that means most clubs are going to have to do more. 

Five Songs Paul Stanley Insists Upon Us

By any measure Paul Stanley has been at the very least a prolific song writer.  By most measures he has been a great songwriter.  He often gets pigeonholed as a one trick pony who writes rock n roll sex anthems and while he has written plenty of them he’s also responsible for timeless rock songs like Black Diamond, God Of Thunder, and Detroit Rock City.  He may be the inventor of the power ballad with the dreadful tune Hold Me, Touch Me from his 1978 solo album and Rap Metal with the underappreciated All Hells Breaking Loose.  While he’s had a couple of flat out bad songs (My Way) he’s also responsible for what is quite possibly the greatest marriage of lyric and melody with the song C’Mon and Love Me.  Anyone who listens to the first verse and doesn’t become erect is deaf. 

But for about 5 years starting somewhere around 1979 KISS albums started to include a new style of Paul Stanley song.  They weren’t ballads by any definition but the sure as hell didn’t rock either.  At first appearance they seem like a regular hard rock song but it soon becomes clear that these songs require one to stop and listen to properly absorb.  They insist upon themselves.  And they are no fun to listen to.  They sound as if they were intentionally recorded without energy or passion.   

Filler songs have existed since the album era pushed out the single’s era.  I don’t think these songs are filler.  I’ve always gotten the vibe that Paul was quite proud of these songs as most of them have appeared in a setlist for at least one tour.  They all tell a story.  It’s almost as if Paul awoke one day and wanted to be the Hard Rock Springsteen.  I’ve dubbed these songs Snore Rock.  So in chronological order, here are the 5 songs the Paul Stanley insists upon us.

Sure Know Something - This was originally released on Dynasty.  But kind of to my point I had no idea.  When I got KISS Killers in 1985 I assumed it was one of the new songs recorded for that worthless release.  And I owned Dynasty.  Sure I was only 9 when I got it but I remembered every other song on that record.  Even Dirty Livin made an impact.  But not this song.  It tells the story of man who may appear naïve in the world of banging chicks.  But he’s not.  He has been up and down and all around and had his heart broken.  He then goes on to self medicate his broken heart with lots of sex.  You may think that description describes a song you’d like to hear.  It doesn’t. 

Keep Me Coming – This comes from Creatures of The Night which is otherwise a great record.  Here he tells the story of an young innocent girl trying to make it in a big city.  Paul decides to help break out of her shell by having crazy sex with her.  The melody and music, like all of these songs, scream background music.  They offer the same level of songwriting acumen as the guy supplying the serious tones in an episode of Law & Order. 

 

Get All You Can Take – This testament to Snore Rock comes courtesy the album Animalize.  After songs about sexing with chicks and partying this is probably Paul’s most recurring topic when writing lyrics.  The us against them and we don’t need them mantra.  People are always looking at him wherever he goes as if they wonder what the hell’s wrong with him.  But he doesn’t care about their rat race.  After all with all their rules it’s a race for fools that he can never win.  It starts with a similar riff as Keep Me Coming and equally boring.    

Thrills In The Night – Also off of Animalize.  They did the listener a favor by not putting them together in the song sequence.  Having to hear them back to back would probably bring on early onset Alzheimer’s.  This song tells the story of a woman who during the day, by all appearance seems like a regular girl working a 9-5 job.  But there’s a woman that nobody see’s living inside.  So at night, surprise, she’s a fucking whore.  This song was played for most of the Animalize tour in what I assume was to give people more time to buy a t shirt or take a piss.   

Who Wants To Be Lonely – They actually made a video for this piece of shit.  They should’ve called this Who Wants To Listen to this fucking song.  In his book Paul made mention that Gene was mailing it in at this point.  Just going through the motions when it came time to write songs.  Not giving it his all like Paul was.  And this whole album suffers from the Bruce Kulick effect but if this is Paul giving it his all, and Anyway You Slice It is Gene half assing it then Paul should be looking to Gene for songwriting tips.  Honestly I’m trying to remember the lyrics to this but I keep ending up with a mish mash of Keep Me Coming and Thrills In The Night.  All I can muster up without listening to it is the dreadful chorus with the whiny Woooah oooah oh oh.  Just thinking about this song has me making an appointment with a therapist.

So there you go.  5 songs that Rock and Roll Hall of famer Paul Stanley insists upon us.  And Paul, you’ve shown a willingness to admit to some misfires.  Anytime you talk about the Elder you seem to wince.  You may not initially agree but search your feelings.  You know I be right.  But I forgive you Starchild.  You have written some of my favorite and in my humble opinion some of the greatest rock songs of all time.  But these songs are torture and need to be placed in a vault labeled songs that should never be heard again.  Someday you will understand.  Someday you will thank me.