Thursday, June 19, 2014

Most Overrated, Underrated, Bands of All Time

How do you define Underrated?  The dictionary says: underestimate the extent, value, or importance of (someone or something). Ok.  Then what is the value of a musician or band?  Record sales and butt’s in the seats seems a fair judge.  Influence is another factor.  So if someone were to say Eric Clapton was underrated they would be stating that more people should be:  Buying his records.  Going to his concerts.  Acknowledging his influence.  (I use Slowhand solely as an example.  I don’t know that many would consider him underrated.)  But when we say someone or something is overrated are we really putting it in that perspective?  Or are we just saying it because no one likes someone we like.  OR, are you just a pompous ass who thinks everyone else is too stupid or Neanderthal to truly “get it”?  Parameters have been set!  I give you my list of:
 
THE MOST OVERRATED UNDERRATED BANDS OF ALL TIME!
(In no particular order) 
 
Kings X – I’m not sure what happened first.  I became aware of Kings X or I became aware that Kings X were a vastly underrated band.  It seems to be part of any conversation regarding this band.  But exactly how are they underrated.  Their songs have a weight to them.  Listening to them is kind like sit ups for your ears.  And if their tone was a drink it would be a martini.  An extremely dry martini.  Sure they're top notch musicians but talent has never been key to success.  And if you are gonna be a "musicians" band then you are limiting your fan base considerably.  Take a band like Rush.  They aren’t for everyone but they still manage a sizable following.  I use Rush because I think it’s fair to assume anyone who doesn’t like Rush, wouldn’t or doesn’t like Kings X.  And most Rush fans don’t listen to Kings X.  If anything they are overrated.  6 studio albums on a major label and not one went gold and only twice did they crack the top 100.  They were given more rope than their success would dictate.  They wanted the exposure bands like Poison and Warrant got but insisted on having a singer with a Mohawk and a guitar player who purposely made his guitar tone annoying.  It’s fine if you don’t want to play the game but don’t bitch because no one gets you.  After reading their bio they should change their name to Despite Critical Praise.  VH1 listed them as the 83rd greatest hard rock artist of all time.  Look for my future blog to be titled “83 Hard Rock Bands Better Than Kings X”.
 

 
 
 
John Prine – He’s not Jimmy Buffet and he’s not Bob Dylan.  He’s also not good.  Sure he's got a Grammy or two but for the kind of Grammy they don't televise.  In the unlikely event you actually run into one of his fans, don’t ask “Who’s John Prine?”  Not if you any other plans that day anyway. 
 
 
Gary Moore – If Eddie Van Halen looked like Gary Moore I got a feeling most of us would’ve never heard Eruption.  Gary Moore will always be the Irish Ronnie Montrose.  The Bruce Kulick of the Blues.  He was a fine guitar player with plenty of chops and he may have influenced a few guys to play guitar but he couldn’t influence anyone to buy his records.  He was in Thin Lizzy twice and wasn't a founding member.  His career is full of gaps and style changes.  When your claim to fame is being a replacement player in a two hit band and you are constantly in the middle of an identity crisis, you are probably not going to reach the level of fame and success that Gary Moore managed.  Which is why he is anything but underrated.     
 
 
 
 
Saxon – Is there any chance that there is someone who would like Saxon that doesn’t already?
 
 
 
 
 
KIX – My sister is gonna kill me for this one but she didn’t even get into the band until 4 years after they broke up so fuck her.  (I didn’t mean that sis.)  If hair metal was a Saturday morning cartoon it would be called Kix.  Rumor has it Poison’s entire stage show was stolen from Kix.  But since Poison is vastly overrated, that’s not a sign of greatness.  This band is just goofy.  Named after a breakfast cereal.  The bass player and principal songwriter was like 90 years old in their heyday.  The singer sings with a lisp.  One of the guys is named Jimmy Chocolate or something fucking stupid like that.  Even their ad’s in Circus magazine in the 80’s made you wonder if they were actually a real band.  I admit I like some of their songs but more as a guilty pleasure.
 
 
 
UFO/Michael Schenker – Well this one may give Eddie Trunk an aneurism but fuck UFO.  Hard Rock isn’t meant to be this boring.  Their “classic” stuff actually has a musty smell when you listen to it.  And who hasn’t been in this band?  They have so many former members they actually formed a band and called it X-UFO.  None of the guys in this traveling tribute to bore rock are original members.  And the most famous member, Michael Schenker, was the fourth guitarist they had.  And Michael Schenker is the Gary Moore of hard rock. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
You wanna know what underrated is?  From 1986 – 2000 Michael Jordan never played in a game that wasn’t sold out.  Cities with horrible teams that no one wanted to see play would sell out to see MJ.  And during that time he missed a total of 7 games.  UFO has more former members than MJ had sick days.  How many people do you know miss only 7 days of work over 15 years?  He made over a billion dollars for Nike as an endorser and the NBA’s TV contracts more than doubled over his career.  Million dollar shoe contracts were tossed at any rookie with the gamble they may have the next MJ on their hands.  While he made himself retardedly wealthy, the majority of the money he made went to other people and entity’s.  He made something like 25 million dollars his last season with the Bull’s and that was a bargain for the team.  That is underrated. 
 
    

3 comments:

  1. I think Gary Moore has a fantastic voice, true he's not good looking, but neither are most people ! I was sad to hear another Irishman died of booze.
    Zer0

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  2. I would have included bands like Einst├╝rzende Neubauten, Hot Water Music, The Specials, and Jesus Chrysler.

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