So now every member of KISS has officially written a book. Or at least had help writing a book. I’ve read Gene’s (Look at all the famous people I have in my rolodex.) Then Ace’s (Girls are attracted to me. And my penis is big.) Then came Peter’s (Paul’s gay, Elton John wanted me to drum for him and my penis is bigger than Ace’s.) And lastly we have Paul’s.
If you suspect Paul went last intentionally. Reading his book will confirm it. Paul has touted his book as a story about overcoming obstacles. And I suppose it is but it’s rings a little whiny considering the largest obstacles in life he overcame by his late 20’s. But discusses them into his late 50’s. He was lonely. His wife never seemed impressed with how awesome he was. Gene is selfish. At about the 300 page mark you just feel like Paul needs to hang out at more KISS conventions because it seems the only thing his life is missing is constant praise.
One thing becomes clear right quick. He’s also got it in for Peter. He pulls no punches with Gene either but his criticisms of Gene seem more honest and legit. His problem with Peter seems personal. And considering Peter said he caught Paul giving Ace a blowjob in his book, it may be deserved. But that doesn’t make it true. I’ve seen Peter in KISS and I can tell you as recently as the Farewell Tour he was able to play drums and he could sing an entire song without help. From the beginning Paul talks of Peter as someone who could barely face the proper direction behind a drum kit much less play it, he couldn’t sing without constant coaching and was a dumb illiterate complainer. For someone who has pretty much projected an air of taking the high road throughout his career, this seems petty. That said, Paul has dealt with gay rumors his entire adult life. And to have a former member of your make that same claim would make many of us retaliate.
And speaking of being gay. Paul spends too many words on the girls he banged. I get it. You had sex with chicks who were hot. I got enough of that in Ace's book. And while I found Paul's book the most revealing look into the inner workings of KISS, he also comes off as disingenuous at times. He claims Eric Carr stopped talking to him on the Hot In The Shade Tour and never knew why. Those of us who have spent our lives following this little band called KISS know this is bullshit.
But in the end he sounds like someone who’s pretty much got everything anyone would ever want. Fame, money, family, abs of steel and an Arena Football League team named after himself. And who doesn’t want to own a restaurant with Gene Simmons? At the end of his book I was left with one thought that will stick with me…
It must be nice to eat Swordfish whenever you want