Such A Waste?

Chris Brown is back in the news for punching people. And whether it's Mr. Brown looking at some time behind bars or Kurt Cobain decorating his living with room with his own brain matter.  When a young celebrity does something that may hamper their ability to continue making music, movies or whatever, claims of "Such a waste" will follow.

The point being it's too bad that someone who had so much talent and potential earnings can no longer share that craft with us because they are incarcerated or dead. We'll set aside how ridiculously debatable it is that Chris Brown is any level of unique talent.  Why does the ability to sing and dance make us sympathetic to the offender?  If Hitler could sing and dance would we view him differently? And unlike Chris Brown, Michael Jackson was a unique and supreme talent.  And none of that matters to me because he raped children.  There are certain crimes that SHOULD take the spotlight away from what made you famous and punching women or molesting children are two examples of such.  And shooting yourself in the face isn't tragic as much as it is selfish.  John Lennon.  Stevie Ray Vaughn.  Lynyrd Skynyrd.  These were artists taken from us.  Losing them was  a waste.  Chris Brown going to prison.  Not so much. And it's less likely Michael Jackson will scar another child now that he's dead.  Just saying.  

I know there are circumstances behind the scenes whether it be how Chris Brown was raised, Michael Jackson never having a childhood or Kurt Cobain's love of heroin.  But that's my point. How many junkies reach the level of success that Cobain did? How many child molester's record the biggest selling record in history?  How many guys who beat up chicks get famous for beating up chicks?  We are looking at this wrong.  There is no wasted talent.  Michael Jackson achieved a level of fame most pedophiles never do.  Kurt Cobain sold more records than almost any junkie ever.  And if Chris Brown eventually ends up in prison it won't be a waste. He's already received more standing ovation's than most women punchers can dream of. Sometimes, people overcome things like a crippling drug addiction or a violent temper and reach heights most people with similar disorders never approach.  These aren't stories of wasted talent.  They are stories of inspiration for people addicted to beating women or molesting children.  Even sicko's like you can become famous.

  

Saturday Sports Crapper 10-26-2013

VIKING FAN WHO REFUSED TO SHAVE UNTIL THE VIKES WON THE SUPER BOWL...DIES WITH BEARD

As a Minnesotan and a Viking fan I can relate to this level dedication. But I have given up any long term declarations for fear that I may actually end up an ironic headline. Hats off to Emmet for his commitment and for having a name that sounds both Minnesotan and old. You may say he was crazy or stupid but in a world devoid of any actual devotion he's a bit of a hero I say. This old coot wouldn't even shave for his daughters wedding 18 years ago. Last years high school grad's don't have the commitment it would take to go an entire game without touching their phone much less 38 years without shaving. Pour out a little liquor for homie Emmet.  

WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR

RED SOX v. CARDS = WHOSE FANS DESERVE IT LESS SERIES

I didn't take long for the Red Sox to go from loveable loser to World Series regulars.  And even less time for the long suffering fan base to become unsuffereable.  And fans of the Cardinals have a decades long tradition of thumbing their noses at the rest of us hot dog eaters.  I'm rooting for this years World Series to be over so it stops interrupting my favorite Fox shows.  

MALE JETS FAN CELEBRATES WIN BY PUNCHING A WOMAN

Validating my claim you can't trust a grown man wearing a players jersey, Jets fan Kurt Paschke was so jacked up after a Jet's victory he needed to punch a woman.  That may seem excessive and a tad irrational but when you consider how wasted he was and that in 1992 he stabbed and killed a man outside a Pizza shop, you realize how much restraint he showed.  Cheers to you psycho. You need to stop watching sports.  And killing people.  And punching women in the face.  Afterward he ate a Jets themed birthday cake his mom made for him.  Not making that up.  Turns out his dads a cop so if he only did 3 years for killing someone he probably won't even be fined for punching a woman.     

WHO YOU CALLING A PSYCHO?

Shit Stupid Sports Fans Say: "Lebron James would've never won a championship in Cleveland."

Saturday Sports Crapper October 19th

Rex Ryan Wants His Players To Stop Banging

Apparently there is just too much sex going on with the New York Jets as head coach and recent chastity belt endorser Rex Ryan has apparently asked his team to stop having sex.  Or in his words, "Rest their legs"? I don't understand.  Are they fucking each other?  This is the same guy who has a tattoo of his wife wearing his QB's jersey.

Banging Jets

Who Wants To Give A Millionaire 10 Bucks?

Something called Fantex Earnings is allowing schmuck's like us to invest in professional athlete's. They give the athlete money.  Then we give them money?  This sounds a lot like that toilet paper known as Green Bay Packers Stock.

Junk Stock  

Gronk's Mom Wants Us To Leave Him Alone

Rob Gronkowski's mom went public to defend her little boy who has some teammates thinking he's milking his injury a tad.  And like all grown up millionaire's, this hurt his feelings. Gronk sad.  As if it wasn't bad enough his mom talked to the papers, she called him Robbie.  

Gronk Want To Play

Nice!

Nothing special here.  Except maybe CJ Fair.  I just enjoy this picture. For some reason ESPN asked some college basketball players to draw their schools mascot.  apparently this is Otto.  The mascot for the Syracuse Orangemen.  Not only does it look like it was drawn for a 4 year old.  CJ looks quite proud of it.  We're gonna hang this right here on the fridge.   

Shit stupid sports fans say.  "Why not trade him now while we can still get something for him?"

Have a good weekend! 

How Am I Supposed To Find The Forest With All These Trees In The Way?

As a youngling I was forced to do many things I didn't want to.  For the most part I did them.  Rarely pausing to question why.  Then one day it happened.  I asked the question.  Why?  Not as a form of rebellion but as a matter of curiosity.  As I got more answers I started to embrace the logic of what I was forced to do. I became man.

Why have we lost our ability to question what has been put in front of us?  Or more aptly put, why do we only question that which we disapprove of?  When the message is one that supports our views or opinions, we seem to have lost the ability to be objective. To question the validity of a quote is gone if we agree with it. Who cares if it’s true?  My dad was no fan of President Carter but he would've never supported the type of anti Obama false prophecy that has permeated both ends of the political spectrum.  Both of my parents loved Jesus.  But not so much they felt Tim Tebow was a good QB.  It's good to have beliefs.  It's even better if you're willing to stand for what you believe. But what if doing so means believing a lie or embracing a hoax?      

There was that picture flying around the internet of the father of the Duck Dynasty clan Phil Robertson holding a bible in his hand with text that told the story of the network suits at A&E, in response to complaints, asking him if they could take the prayer out of the end of the episodes.Which of course he refused to do and said if they took it out there would be no show. Which sent the network exec’s running in fear.  But is it true?  Does it matter? We want to believe so.  We want to believe our faith is being attacked and finally we have someone with power on our side.  We want to believe even though it isn't true and basic reasoning skills would tell us that if we let them. Reason tells us there isn't much chance that Duck Dynasty got more complaints than Jersey Shore? Reason tells us more like minded people (Christians) complained about Ellen Degeneres coming out of the closet on her sit com Ellen in the late 90’s, than all of the anti-prayer complaints for Duck Dynasty combined. And there was no outcry to cancel the show.  We want to believe so bad we’re choosing to believe an obvious hoax.  We want to believe.   

Then we have the story of the poor school teacher who was going to be fired because she had the audacity to send a letter to President Obama that was critical of his administration.  We want to hate the President.  We want him to be wrong.  We want his birth certificate to be fake.  We want to believe gas prices never went over $3 before he was president even though we paid for it.  We want to believe he is the devil.  So much that we will never question anything that supports that idea. Even if believing means we're retarded.  A simple web search will tell you the teacher story is a hoax.  And if you read the letter you should have been able to figure that out for yourself.  When have you ever heard President Obama say the United States is not a Christian nation much less say it to Muslims everywhere?  When has a teacher ever been fired for writing a letter to the president?  When has a teacher ever written a letter to the President that didn't discuss education?  We don't question this because we want it to be true. We want to believe.  

And you can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone who thinks Tim Tebow has been blackballed from the NFL because of his faith.  We want to believe our faith has been attacked so much that we seem to ignore the pile of players on the field after every game holding hands in group prayer.  Shown on national television for all non Christians to see.  We want to believe in a predominantly Christian country that a sport that still, even at the pro level, employs a team chaplain, just can’t handle Tim Tebow loving Jesus.  We want to believe it so bad we ignore that Tim might be breaking the 2nd, 4th and 10th commandment on national TV every time he draws attention to himself for loving the lord with his pose we now know as Tebowing.  We want to believe so much that we ignore his completion percentage.  We want to believe. 

Why?  Why do we want to believe?  We are who we are.  Almost all of us just want to go to bed and wake up happy. Why do we choose to cling to a myth, a lie, a misrepresentation of the truth?  It's not necessary.   Is it ok for Tim Tebow to love Jesus while simultaneously sucking at QB?  Is what we believe so important that we will embrace a lie or worse, lie to ourselves?  The lesson should be not to embrace something so hard without knowing everything.  Instead it seems the lesson is to just convince ourselves any evidence to the contrary is part of the cover up.  Still I want to believe.  I want to believe we are better.  Deep down.  I believe we all are better.  I want to believe we all silently question the same things.  That when you peel it all back, we're all quite the same. That even when we won't admit it, we know the trees are the forest.  That we all don't actually like Dancing With The Stars or the Voice.  I want to believe.

Does Kim Kardashian Deserve A Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame?

No!

Saturday Sports Crapper

MICHAEL BEASLEY NOT TAKING ANY SHIT FROM MICHAEL BEASLEY

Us folks in the land of 10,000 lakes are all too familiar with full time pot head and part time basketball player Michael Beasley.  Supposedly he's wasting his talent but I argue he's achieved quite a bit for a lazy ass. Here's a video that shows him punching himself in the face. Reportedly he kicked his own ass so bad he required medical attention. Stay crazy B-Easy!    

PING PONG IS FOR WINNERS!  NOT LOSERS!

Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin is sending his winless team a message.  No more Ping Pong.  If Glengarry Glen Ross taught us coffee's for closers then Mike Tomlin is teaching his players that Ping Pong is for winners. Of course most professional athletes can probably afford their very own ping pong table.  What do you think about that coach Tomlin?

Mike Tomlin says no more Ping Pong. LOSERS!

REFEREE'S ARRESTED DURING HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME

Two ref's were arrested on public intimidation charges during a football game last night.  Not sure what to say.  Cops can be pretty touchy about what kind of "tone" you use when speaking to them.  There's a joke in here somewhere. Doughnuts and eyeglasses? 

Ref's and Cops Get Into Turf War At High School Football Game 


ADRIAN PETERSON'S SON DIES

In more serious news the 2 year old son of Adrian Peterson died from injuries he suffered at the hands of the mothers boyfriend.  Senseless.  Our thoughts are with AP and the all too many victims of this kind of crap.  

Shit stupid sports fans say:  "You can't win without a big name coach"

Why The New KISS Rock Doc is Probably Gonna Be Lame

Well, I planned on laying off doing any blogs on my favorite band KISS for awhile but the recent news that a new documentary is in the works made it hard to stay away from this one.  A few months back some friends and I were discussing some of the more recent Rock Documentaries that have come out the last few years.  While expressing how much I’ve enjoyed them, I pined about how cool it would be if they did one for KISS.  There have been plenty of documentary type programs on KISS, but they all come with the death grip of Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley making sure nothing they didn’t want to come out came out.  That it was more propaganda about how cool they are and how worthless Ace and Peter are.  Even after 40 years they still seem afraid of showing the rough edges.  The mistakes and failures are glossed over if discussed at all.  Plus they seemed as driven as ever to tarnish the already corroded reputations of Ace Frehley and Peter Criss.  The result ends up looking more like war era propaganda than a legitimate documentary.

One of the best things about the Lemmy documentary was the stark honesty about the things he may not be the most proud of.  He certainly hasn’t lived a perfect life.  He seems to get that at this stage of the game the story isn’t that Motorhead has a new record.  The same can be said for RUSH: Beyond The Lighted Stage, Back And Forth (Foo Fighters) and This Is Anvil.  There are also some brilliant smaller scale doc’s.  Wake Up Dead about the life of a rocker you’ve never heard of Phil Varone.  Or Let’s Get Thrashed a doc about the rise of Thrash Metal.  All of these were done with very limited creative constraints on the film maker and full cooperation of those most important to the story.  With Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, you can only get one of those two.

So when I heard that this most recent attempt to tell the story of KISS would be done without the input of Ace or Peter I was disappointed.  Not so much for what they would add to the project but for what it signified.  It meant that once again Gene and Paul were in charge of the overall tone and message.  Which translates into a homogenized history of one of the greatest rock bands in American history.  With all the Gene and Paul approved propaganda out there, why do we need more?  Their side of the story is Ace and Peter were asked but they started making unreasonable demands.  The Peter and Ace side is that they were approached and were asked to do it as a favor to Gene and Paul.  In other words, for free.  

“Were gonna do this with or without you.  If you want to be involved were not gonna pay you and we have final say as to what will actually be put in the movie.  You don’t mind donating your time while we profit from it do you?”  

I know this becomes a he said/he said situation but were all adults here.  There is too much evidence against Gene and Paul to take their version of events.  They have a track record of promoting whatever paints the picture they want you to see.  Bruce Fairbairn said in an EQ magazine article that unequivocally Peter was the drummer on Psycho Circus.  As we now know it was actually Kevin Valentine you wonder why he would say that.  Because they guys signing the checks told him too.  Why should we give this documentary maker the benefit of the doubt when history tells us otherwise.  The only way this ends up being something cool is if the filmmaker does it without ever consulting Gene and Paul.  I know they plan to use archived footage that current Ace Frehley imposter Tommy Thayer shot back in 2001 and prior when holding a camera and fetching Gene’s laundry were his main duties but that’s not the same.  I’m hopeful yet skeptical that the end product will be something cool.  And since I can’t change anything I thought I’d make a few predictions. 

A minimum of 20% of the film will cover the time between 2009 and now or as I like to call it.  The dead behind the ears era.  Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer will have at least as much face time as the actual Ace and Peter.

The title will include a pun using the word KISS.

Eddie Trunk will do a similar rant as I’m doing but far less original or interesting.

Bob Kulick being bald will be mentioned at least once.  

Bruce Kulick will have plenty to say yet say nothing interesting.  

Gene Simmons will be wearing an ill fitting baseball cap atop his odd shaped wig with the logo of some self serving enterprise.  

Fear of being sued will keep them from ever discussing one Vinnie Vincent or allowing a song he’s listed as a writer on to be used in the movie.  I’m gonna give them a pass on this one.

KISS still won’t be in the HOF.

I will buy it.  I will watch it.  I will complain loudly and often as my wife sits next to me and says “yes dear”.

Shut The *BLEEP* Up!

There are reasons you don't spend too much time raising your child to think they are great.  One being, well they're probably not great.  Another reason would be they grow up to be this idiot.  This perfectly lovely gal thinks her job is too focused on the bottom line than quality.  To prove her point she used a Kanye West song.  (At least I assumed it was ironic).  For TWO years she sacrificed friends and relationships for this heartless video production company and she decided she was going to quit in GLORIOUS fashion. And of course the mindless masses ate it up.

Please.  I can't be the only one tired of the videos of 20 somethings sharing their disappointment in the world. They are pissed off because their Art History degree didn't turn into a 6 figure job a week out of college and they want us all to know about it.  They need to shut the fuck up.  But it's not their fault. It's the parents bribing them with ice cream not to throw a fit in church. It's teachers telling them trying is as good as doing. It's school counselors telling them EVERYBODY deserves to go to college.  This moron's disenchantment is what plenty of people would call their best day ever.  

I don't care if someone wants more.  I care that they feel they deserve more. Have some perspective.  And can we stop giving credit for mediocrity.  If you watched this video and thought it was creative.  You watch too much reality TV.  If you thought, Good for you!  You've never worked in your life.  When your livelihood depends on you having  a job, you don't quit for these reasons. I doubt she's sacrificed much of anything except maybe a gym membership. And she hasn't even earned the attention I'm giving her.